Now, I am officially old. I have that old-man smell like mothballs and Aqua Velva. As a matter of fact, when I had a question earlier today, instead of looking up the answer on the Internet, I e-mailed a buddy asking him to explain it to me.
Some say that age is a state of mind, but there are absolute signs of “old age” and I clearly received one of those, this week: My membership offer for AARP. If I pay $16 to join in the next ten days then I’ll also receive a FREE Sport Tote.
So, hit me up if any of you young whippersnappers need to know how to use Compuserve, Prodigy, MySpace, pogs, carbon paper, a fax, or 8-track. I'm your (old) man. (Sorry, I can’t help you with computer punchcards… I’m not that "experienced.")
You can e-mail me at my AOL e-mail address and I'll respond as soon as my secretary prints out your e-mail for me to read. (I jot down my response on the bottom of the page and then she types up my reply.)
More importantly, I’m currently looking for work as a Y2K consultant, so keep me in mind if you spot any job openings.
Also, I have a bottle of witch hazel in the valise on my Davenport, in case you need any. #groovy #swell
Now please excuse me while I chase some kids off my front lawn and then head to the beach with my metal detector after going for a ride on my recumbent bike.
AOL Keyword: Birthday
Happy 25th anniversary of my 25th birthday.